Thursday, May 8, 2008

I am sadden by the fact that the genting trip with friends had been cancelled. It's initially 5 people going and it soon reduces to 3 people. And now, from 3 people to 2 people which is me and Tb. Although, there is a chance of 0.00000001% going, but I bet it wouldn't be nice if there were only 2 people. Besides, Tb sounds reluctant to go (which is predictable) when Hx suddenly said he couldn't make it.

CONCLUSION: TRIP CANCELLED!

I can totally understand the circumstances of someone who is currently in army. They cannot go abroad or out of country. And the recent Mas selamat case made it worst. But it's really depressing when one's pay too much attention and the joy of excitement for this trip and ended up cancelling. It's like going to school with your shoes wet and fell into the drain.

I am currently having mixed feeling. Maybe I shouldn't anticipate too much and now I got lost in the confusion. I was hoping for a change of fate and maybe something on the total opposite could happen right now, right on.

But I guess the more I wish, the more sad I feel. It's a no motivation from now on and I might just need to delete away my (12 days more!!!) from MSN's nick. Maybe the next time when there is such trip, I shan't be more excited than this. Then at least if it is cancelled, my heart wouldn't feel the sharp pain. The pain is form when you mix angry, sad and wanting to get revenge.

My sis kept telling me it's okay and she promised to go again when she returns to work again or June. I was saying ok but in my heart, I was saying something like "wait till then and we shall discuss again". Nobody should be blame for this trip to be cancelled. It's only that I should be more understanding and forward-looking towards unforeseen circumstances.

But the more I type or think, the more I felt _______.(I don't know what word to use) I can be the laziest people on Earth and this time I made my passport and was preparing the things I might need when we reach there. Or perhaps the things needed on the coach, eg jackets and magazines. The planning of my school skipping. The showering things, towels, toothpaste. What bag to bring. The list goes on.

One word, cancelled and all these things can be put away or even erased from the memories. I remembered when the plan of the trip was first brought up, you can always see me walking around with glee. In fact, I was overjoyed, really! I was.

But fraid not, I am getting better at accommodating to the changes around. In fact, Weiming! hope you have a nice trip at Genting although there might be chances that we might meet there IF our plan was still available. It's really coincidence to hear that you will be going there too.

Actually, I feel like this plan of going genting will be cancelled from the beginning already. Just that I keep it in my heart all along. I kept my finger crossed and hope that my 'suay' mouth wouldn't said it right. Yesterday, I was asking Tb "What if there is only me and you go, will you still want to go?"

Tb brush the question aside and answered "Don't think about these and hope nothing like this will happen". The next day, I received Hx's message and he said he couldn't make it. I was having a lesson on HTML and after receiving this message, I couldn't feel anything. I am lost.

I guess I can type like this forever. I can keep repeating my stories of the boring Little red riding hood. And everyone is so going to tell me that it's no use thinking about it caused everyone already know the ending; except me.

To make things worse, I got home and my modem SPOILED. Another feeling occurred. It's loneliness because there is certainly no one within the house that could help me. I called the Support hotline and the person guided me but it still doesn't work. He left me with an address and the price of a new modem ($280). You get the meaning, don't you?

I called the most loved me person on Earth. It's my sis. The modem came back to life like after banging it against the walls for 5 times?. I was saved!? How miracle can it be?

Had UT today, it wasn't easy. Skipped dinner tonight. Things isn't right for today. I hope for a better tomorrow.

No pictures for today's post. Refer to my previous post for happiness pictures. Timothy never fails to make me smile! Goodnight.

by Anonymous at 9:10 PM |